Carol and Tim helped for a period after the birth of my second son. It was really great to have that support so I could figure out what I needed to do. I found a job about a month later and I applied for loans and grants to go to school for hair and makeup.
My grants and loans came through and I was able to go to school. The loans helped with my school expenses and rent. I eventually graduated and found a job at a salon. It wasn’t easy starting at the bottom or starting my new life out with loans, but I’ve paid my loans down and have a great career that I love.
I now have my own apartment, a car, and some money in the bank. I’m stable and secure and it’s the greatest feeling in the world. I receive pictures and letters from Carol and Tim all the time. I am closer with my sister and mom. My father died years ago and I don’t have a strong relationship with my brothers. I still see and talk to Irene periodically. Her support has been unwavering. She has been the one person who has been honest and kind and has provided the support I needed to help me see if I didn’t change my life I would be stuck in a pattern that wouldn’t get me anywhere in life.
When people learn about my story, they question it. They don’t understand my decision or they don’t even understand adoption.
I can tell you that I do not regret my decision. I know I made the right decision for my boys and they are together because of it. I made an adoption plan for them because it was my responsibility to give them more in life than I could offer and I found that for them in Tim and Carol. Tim and Carol were not strangers to me in the end; we got to know each other and we respect each other.
If I can leave you with any advice…I want you to know that there is nothing shameful or wrong in doing an adoption. Do it for your child and if it’s the best thing for them. Don’t completely rely on others to help. I’ve seen way too much friends who have raised their babies with promises from friends and family that they will help and for a while they do, but then friends and family get caught up in their own lives and they aren’t available anymore. Or friends will offer you a place to live or help but in the end but it comes with strings attached. You need to rely on yourself. You’re the only one that knows what’s best for you and what you need to do to change your life for the best and become someone you are proud of. Be honest and open with everyone in the adoption process. If you don’t, your needs will never be met and you’ll only get frustrated. This process isn’t easy, but it is worth it when you see how happy and healthy your baby is.
My story took me a long time to put into words and describe my feelings. If you’re reading this and considering adoption, I hope my story has helped you. I hope my story has touched anyone that has read it.
Always Sandy